[Serious Topic] Peavs is in Deep Shit

So there's this guy at school. He's got a "girlfriend". They've been going out for about a year and have never kissed once and haven't even hugged in public (I also doubt in private). Whenever they're together, they don't hold hands and the guy makes a point to stand at least two feet from her.

This guy, however, has no qualms about standing right behind Peavs. He comes up behind me when I don't even realize it and touches his privates right to my ass. The guy is a fucking 18-year-old senior in high school and I'm a Junior and 16.

He's got an uber effeminate voice and makes a point to try to spend more time with me than he does with his girlfriend. I have a feeling that she only goes out with this guy because she's too nice to break up with him.

The guy wasn't looking for a job at the time. But he sees me working at the grocery store and applies that day. He gets hired a few days later. He doesn't have any interest in something but I suddenly show interest in it, and it's his new "thing". The guy even fucking registered here on SeC when he heard me talking to BmmFlash about it.

I'm pretty sure that you guys can see where I'm going with this. I'm 99% sure the dude is gay. It's that 1% of doubt that prevents me from confronting him. His parents would basically disown him if he came out because they are uber religious. They must have their suspicions because they are making him live at home for when he goes to college.

This wouldn't be a problem if I could just avoid him without penalty. But one of my best friends from Kindergarten (first year of school for 5 year olds for you non-americans) doesn't want to see this. All of my other friends see this but ignore it because it doesn't impact them. I can't even hang out with my friends anymore because he is always there with them. He doesn't hang out with anyone his own age, only people younger than him. To make a point abundantly clear here: I DO NOT HATE GAY/BI/TRANS/PANSEXUAL PEOPLE. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THEM. I just can't stand this kid anymore. My life is being consumed by avoiding him.

The bigger problem is that I can't talk to girls anymore. He follows me around and every time I'm talking to a girl he cuts him and interrupts to make some stupid comment/joke he's made a million times already.

I have told him a million times to just leave me alone. I've said it right to his face. He does some stupid apology and starts up the exact same shit I just stated a day or two later. A lot of people don't get the position I'm in either because he acts very politely. They think I'm a dick for avoiding him.

I'm at my wits end. I'm actually beginning to fear for my personal safety. I don't know how much it costs to get a restraining order, and I don't know how it would work with kids that go to the same school, but I am seriously considering something of the sort.

You shouldn't have too much longer to deal with him at school though as the year should be over in a couple months (I believe). Just tell him straight out that you think he's gay and want him to leave you alone, otherwise it won't end. If you don't want to come right out and say that, then go the route of just saying that when he does certain things, it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. That's really the best advice I could give.

Fight him?

I don't really know what to do, considering I never had anything like that happen to me. Since I live in a very right-wing type of area, gays get the ever-loving hell beat out of them if they expose themselves too much, so they often are closet or know not to talk about it too much.

You need to confront him about this and have a serious discussion, telling him that you are not interested and would like to be left alone. If that does not work go to a teacher or a school counselor and talk to them about this.

i wouldnt hesiate , get a restraining order or order of protection from a court. dont mess around with this kind of bullshit. im pretty sure an order of protection is free but i dont know too many specifics.

or, if you are pretty sure he is gay, you could hold it over his head and threaten to go to his parent if he messes with you. yeah that would be blackmail but you gotta do what you gotta do. this would be a very "secret" way to deal with the problem if he cooperates

@Pinapple

He's not going to leave me alone after he goes to college. Hell still be at home. He'll just constantly irritate me with even more time on his hands. Also, I've told him that stuff a million times. He's well aware that he's irritating me. He just thinks that following me around and doing more of the same bullshit under the guise of apologizing is the way to fix it.

@Everyone Else

I can't do anything about this because technically he hasn't broken any school rules.

The other problem is that I have 6 "realms" of my life.

1) School-He's there, can't escape him, but I have to go.

2) Work-He's there too.

3) Girls-Not gonna happen for me if he doesn't leave me alone (which won't happen).

4) Band and Band Friends-He's in our high school band so I can't escape him there either. I can sort of get away from him because he is not there often (only for class) because he's not well liked by the band members or our director.

5) Regular Friends-He's there. They keep bugging me because I barely hang out with them anymore they say I spend too much time on my computer.

6) Virtual Life-The only place I feel safe. But not even 100% here because he created an account here. He doesn't really ever use it tho (SirAaron7). I spend so much time on my computer because I don't feel safe anywhere else. I'll also be fine for ski team because he can't do anything athletic for shit so I can avoid him there.

He's pretty much invaded every single one one way or the other. I'm not safe from him. He's gone full-blown 5-alarm stalker.

@Tall

His parents probably know already or are fairly sure of it. They'd probably just deny it or send him to some "purification camp" or bullshit like that.

Paevs you must be a very handsome man, i would say go to the counselor and get some classes changed around it might help a bit.

Mr Trihorn wrote:Paevs you must be a very handsome man, i would say go to the councilor and get some classes changed around.

I don't have any classes with him (thank god). He's in a different concert band but he still is there for marching season and full band rehearsals.

Well, tough to say what do since he's everywhere. Personally, I'd beat the shit out of him, but I don't think that's probably the best thing to do (I just have a short temper and little tolerance for bullshit).

Like others have said, I'd talk to a counselor, and say the guy is really bothering you.

Well if you can't do a lot of the stuff suggested, then it sounds like you're F'ed in the A..... Or at least soon will be!

Really if talking to him won't help anything, then the only other suggestion would be to get parents and counselors involved.

ThePeavstenator wrote:@Tall

His parents probably know already or are fairly sure of it. They'd probably just deny it or send him to some "purification camp" or bullshit like that.

Video tape it.. That's some weird shit man if someone kept cock blocking me i'd punch them but the non violent route would be to scare him (curse him out? not sure here...)

ThePeavstenator wrote:@Everyone Else

I can't do anything about this because technically he hasn't broken any school rules.

That does matter at all in regards to this, you feel threatened and that is more than enough of a justifiable reason to go to say a teacher. They will help you.

The teachers basically will do nothing because they'll say something to the tune of:

"He's just trying to be your friend. Be nice to him."

Just like my parents, just like one specific teacher I told.

Basically:

Me-the black king

Him-the multiple queens

If the teacher tries to blow it off, you can't just let them. Tell them, "No, this is more serious" Tell them that he practically stalks you. Tell them everything he does, even better, if nothing else, lie and try to get him taken down for sexual harassment.

Get him to touch your no-nos, then since he is 18 and your a minor. Shout rape. He gets locked up for the next 15-20 years and you dont have to worry about him anymore.

Personally I would just start being a dick to him until he gets your hints.

give him an arrow to the knee, can make someone stop anything.

and if he touched you with his junk thats harrassment

whos bigger? him or you? if hes bigger, you will be able to get help form adults easier. you should probably get help from a higher power soon though. do not go to a teacher, go to the vice principal or principal

-this might sound wierd, but maybe he needs a boyfriend? you find him a boyfriend and he lays off? that idea sounds farfetched as a type it.

@ Zillah

That's basically where I'm at now. Still not working.

@Tallness

Hes a skinny guy. I could beat the shit out of him pretty easily.

GIve him a warning by telling him very firmly to back the fuck off. If that doesn't work I would beat him down.

Bill Brasky wrote:GIve him a warning by telling him very firmly to back the fuck off.

Already did it

I dont know then, just make yourself as unpleasurable as possible to be around, and eventually he should lose interest.

From what I've seen Peavs, what he does to you is only a result of you flipping a shit before he even has the chance to speak. He wants a reaction, and you give it to him every time.

Next time this happens, act like you're in a hurry and leave the room, paying him no mind.

Don't shower for two weeks. Problem solved.

Sorry I couldn't help it

it sounds like you are left with no other resort than ignoring him

i know it sounds simple but it's extremely effective

If telling him straight up that you don't want him around doesnt work, you realise you have other friends to call on here right? I mean, that 1% chance of him being straight flew the hell out the window when he just walked up to me in the hall while I was standing next to Siren and put his arm around me. I'm pretty sure the other guys have figured it out already too, and you know how Ryan and I get when we're pissed off. If you want help dealing with him and teachers/counselors aren't helping, I'd be more than glad to do whatever I could to help. Because as much as I like him, since he is often a really nice guy, what he's doing to you isn't fair. And of course, I feel its my sworn duty to offer the "beat the shit out of him" approach as a solution.

I didn't read the replies to the original post, but I would say ask him what his problem is and go from there. Confront him and if needed make him realize that he is not welcome around you, should that be the case.

More or less. Unfortunately, if words don't get through, sometimes a punch to the jaw does.

That's fucking creepy. My girlfriend has had plenty of stalkers, but this is crazy.

Honestly, I would just beat him up.

GL man and I hope everything works out

Peavs, I think theres a few angles to this.

A) Yes, I agree, hes been going over the edge lately. The biggest problem I see with him is the fact that he cant accept that hes been a dick lately, or that he got onto your bad side. I agree, hes been annoying. It comes from the non stop, "Im going to win back his friendship!" BS and other stuff.
I also think that he doesnt know how to cope with actually hanging out with people....
Because me, you, and the whole gang have been doing stuff together since 6th grade. Its a long time, and were a pretty tight nit group. I dont know if hes trying to be accepted with the whole gifts thing, or the excessive 'nice-ness', but I hope he can find himself. Better yet, I hope he can express himself, so that we know him. And not the 'im a nice person, I baked you cookies because thats what I do, friendship is awesome' but like, who HE is. I still feel like we barely know him, just because he never complains/moans/grumps/talks about personal stuff. People hate this stuff, but when your really good friends, its weird not to know someone.

B) the other thing is that you CAN still do stuff with us. I know hes there most of the time, but we can always jump on it too. We miss you Peavs XP
I say come to the New Years party and see how it goes. We all know how you feel, so if hes doing what he normally does we can tell him to tone it down.


And also, you should express that you dont want an apology or an explanation. If not, hes just going to keep coming at you for your friendship. I guess just try to clear the air...

Brent, the thig is he does the whole niceness shit with everyone. A few weeks he actually asked me go with him to his youth group. After I asked, he explicitly stated that his goal was to convert me (for those of you not in on this, I'm a flagrant, amoral, militant atheist). The sheer conceit and shameless disregard for my personal beliefs was so blindingly insulting that I had to reread the message a few times and count to ten so as not to answer with something hateful and venomous. Personally, I find him ok most of the time, but there are moments in which I just don't like him as a person. I agree that he should show a lot more of himself, but I'm a little tepid on that too, since I'm not sure if I personally could get along with what's there.

Also, I may or may not crash your party. Just a heads-up.