Novel plot hole issues, looking for input

Okay, I'm faced with a glaring plot hole issue within the novel that I'm writing and would like some honest to good was input from y'all of possible.

First some context and brief overview of the novels plit and setting.

The story takes place in a medieval like setting where sword and chainmail armor is still the primary means to do combat, you also have magic, everyone is pretty much a combat Mage of some sort, though the details of how magic differs in my world is for another time. In the past there was a race of highly advanced weavers, this race is responsible or the development of the "capsules" large super structures that make the mass production of raw magical materials possible, everything from imbued ores to inks must come through these contraptions. During their time a war eventually broke out between them and another super power of the time which culminate with a horrific catastrophe that devastated what was left of their shattered empire and brought the destruction of those who they fought desperately against. In the aftermath, the once proud ancient race known as the espin knew their time was over and they would not be able to recover. So, due to the nature of the event they were granted a near super human life span and they took it upon themselves to guide their ancestors so that they would not make the same mistakes as they did with magic, safe guarding old secrets and technology that brought their empire crashing down. Over time as they grew fewer in number they shrank back in society instead opting to operate in the shadows so to speak by implanting themselves into key positions of power. Anything from king to fisherman they were everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Fast forward to the time period of the novels and their numbers have shrank so much that they simply are unable to wield the same influence they once did. This is putting them in a state of panic and their methods reflect this as they become more bold and more brazen in their attempts to quell those who are learning too much.

Valks is one such individual, being the leading scholar in terms of the history and culture of the Espins he over time notices a pattern that has been occurring over the past century or so. His predecessors and other scholars of the topic all met untimely deaths or had epiphanies of some sort that suddenly caused them to abandon their research. All of them a little too convenient to be mere coincidence. He the slowly pieces together that there is a greater power that appears to be pulling the strings and it is likely that due to recent events, the deaths of some of his colleagues who were equally as knowledgable as he, that he will become a target.

The issue I have is that Valks needs to eventually come to the conclusion that magic is the problem and that societies dependency on it is causing all sorts of problems for the world, corruption and the lust for power and personal agendas being a driving force for many nations. Wars break out over the control of resources and knowledge gleaned from espin ruins and artifacts also poisons diplomacy and has established a status quo between the major super powers where those who know more about the Espin wield more influence and more power than the other.

He needs to come to the conclusion that magic needs to go and that his enemies are indeed the Espin. He's not evil, he isn't doing this for personal gain, his solution which is the releasing the magical properties within the capsules is in his kind the best means to eliminate the problem seeing as the people of his time don't know how to create them. Cultural stagnation, among the unforeseen consequences that were wrought in distant lands due to the creation of these production sites among other things are not strong enough IMO to force him from his I urial discoveries to the point to where he is willing to sacrifice everything in order to save it (releasing magic would be akin to setting off a dozen radiation bombs that would mutate and kill millions among other horrific effects. His reasoning that even though many will die, the chaos that follows will eventually subside and there will be survivors and they will in time learn to cope with the aftermath.

I have a lot of this on paper so if you want it more in depth let me know. Suggestions and thoughts would be appreciated

Ok i read it all and i think i have an understanding, "Valks" kind of needs to see something to convince his/her self that people with magic need to be more responsible?

Anyways assuming that.. Maybe he/she could see one of his own kind abusing his power and then some sort of negative side effect happens when they use it too much?

Just a guess for now.

Magic equivalent genocide event on a scale such as Hiroshima or Nagasaki?

I'll read this when I get home tonight.

Exactly, the Espins are fulfilling that role of trying to be the "parents" so to speak, but the problem is, by doing so they are destroying their race in the process, they are so focused on this task that they are allowing the slow decline of their population. They're now in a bind, of the stop and focus on replenishing their numbers or lessen their activities they may lose whatever influence they have already, if they don't they risk losing it all anyway as their numbers continue to fall.

Valks himself, has experiences loss already. While not directly because of magic, it was a peripheral influence in their demise. A little history on Valks, he was a scholar from the start, his motivation in researching the Espin is that they were extremely advanced in medicine particulary with practices that utilized magic. His wife was a very frail women and he sought a means to provide an effective treatment for her. The Empire of Rakour'Draga is the most influentual power at present and all information regarding the Espin is only available to military and governmental researchers and soldiers. So to gain access to the vast pools of knowledge he was sort of forced to join the military. Knowledge is power after all.

So during his time in service he proved to be an exceptional soldier, securing and discovering countless ruins and items of power for the empire, he was literally a hero among his people and is the reason the empire is so powerful amongst the three that exist on the continent of Tyr'val. Well his son grew up and at the coming of age he joined the military to follow in Valks' foot steps. This of course was the proudest moment for Valks and they enjoyed many successful expeditions. However his last foray went horribly wring and his some was killed in action. Delves rated and feeling responsible for his sons death he fell into further dispair after his wife passed away from heart break. He resigned shortly after from his military post and buried himself in his research. It was his way of trying to find. Means to redeem himself in a way for failing to save both his son and wife. The expedition that led to this was in fact an espirin ruin with a large cache of magical artifacts, so you can kind of link magic to being the root cause. Those that sought the power of knowledge that would inevitably lead to greater power through the ability to use/abuse magic ultimately lead to the conflict that killed his son and peripherally caused the death of his wife. A little irrational but you can see how he could link the two.

The desire for power, magic being the core of that power ultimately causes pain and suffering. But this alone does not necessarily prove to be a strong enough reason I think for him to suddenly pick the route which will cause the deaths of millions I think.

Epyk MD wrote:Magic equivalent genocide event on a scale such as Hiroshima or Nagasaki?

the past is bound to repeat itself mentality and what not.

Yes essentially, magic is such a corner stone to society that it is inevitable I suppose. So the question is why didn't the Espin destroy the capsules? Well considering the amount of devestation that was caused by their destruction (the resulting explosion would be akin to dropping several nuclear bombs that spanned from Dallas Texas all the way to Sacramento. This was an event that had a significant impact globally which those effects will become apparent later in the series) this made the Espin extremely wary of doing anything with the capsules, fearing what could happen. It was much more sensible to do damage control afterwards than eliminating the source as the outcome couldn't possibly be calculated.

Valks though sees it this way. While death and destruction will follow in the wake of their destruction, such chaos always recedes to peace eventually and life will continue, by doing this he frees the Espin of their self proclaimed duties and ultimately saves his own people from following them seeing as the last vestiges of their empire is not gone and the technology to and knowledge on how to weave is then lost. It's a flawed thought process but in his mind it makes perfect sense.

You could have the espins kill off an entire civilization that was close to unveiling their plot or something. Have the secret espins actually DO something that justified them being enemies.

This plot sounds a lot like the Homecoming Series by Orson Scott Card.
It's about how mankind left earth with a small number of people after the future nuclear holocaust to colonize a new planet. When they got to the new planet, they set up an AI satellite system in orbit that would monitor the thoughts of everyone on the planet and prevent them from thinking about ways to use technology for violence.

So as a result you have a technological utopia with little violence.
But after a few million years the population starts to get too big and the AI is getting too old to maintain this. The protagonist and his brother notice that they are unable to think specifically about war (actually stuff like wheels and other things that would allow the mobilization of large armies), but since the AI has been getting weaker, they manage to power their way through its control and eventually unveil the purpose behind the AI (which is revered as a god rather than a piece of technology in the world so people sort of know about it, just not what its for).

It's a lot more complicated than that, the original idea was to go that route but they simply never had the numbers to go to war, even if they did, they simply didn't have the infrastructure and supply to do it in the first place. We're talking about a race and society that has for generations used manipulation and subterfuge to influence the world through both economics and politics, the real danger they present is their intellect and foresight.

Furthermore, not all of them want to continue this charade, the few younger Espins forsee their races doom and want to stop, at least for a little while to try and bring their numbers back, even if the take some very big steps backwards they figure they can gain them back in time. The older generations are more concerned about what will happen in their absence, because of their intervention progress in the development of magicka fueled war machines has been slow, however the younger races have shown a very adamant desire o further such technology in their quest for dominance over the other powers that be. So if they do stop everything they've been trying to stop may fall apart before they can replenish their numbers.

Then you have the protagonist, whom the Espin support peripherally who is sent to stop Valks from achieving his plans, but due to some unforeseeable circumstances actually goes insane and comes to the conclusion that magic itself is the problem, learning from the rending (the event that destroyed the Espin empire) Elios the protagonist comes to his own conclusion which agrees partially with Valks, magic needs to go, but it needs to go away in its entirety. The areas affected by the rending and magically voided wastelands yet several races have learned to live without magic (although with great hardship). So by completely destroying the capsules and making it impossible to do anything with magic he achieves the same effect as Valks but with much greater cost. So in this case Valks is now trying to stop Elios (he suddenly becomes the protagonist) because this actually WILL kill everyone the Espins included, Elios using the same argument that the Espins survives the rending as well as a good portion of their enemies of the time did as well (though they're mutated now). Chaos will reced to peace and we can learn to live without magic.

Now the Espins and Valks have a common foe so they later strike an uneasy truce. There is much more crap that goes on that throws a wrench into the plot but slowly sorting it all out.

Well I mean if this is indeed a plot hole for you, in that the espins don't have the power they would need to wield to justify them being an enemy... then you'd have to change that part wouldn't you?

Yeah, the thing is, while they don't have the numbers to go to war (full scale war) the real threat, at least to valks is their way to manipulate the powers that be to make him become Public enemy #1. Also, they are very skilled warriors in of themselves, they're not god like, but certainly can give any modern weaver a very good run for their money (After all they pioneered the art of weaving).

You raise a good point though, they are not "menacing" enough right now. Right now Valk's needs a bigger reason to want to expose the Espin's or get it so that they are no longer in power and what have you. It has to have deep personal meaning to him, something that really digs into his values and what have you.

that is the problem I'm having right now, there really isn't supposed to be an easily discernable good and evil in this novel, everything is in shades of grey, no one is completely innocent nor truly guilty.

If there is no true north for evil or good then I say the espins have to do something that valks personally finds bad. Or they have to do something this is atrocious by all scales.

So maybe valks finds out that the espins are the ones who caused his son to die in some way, or his wife, or they unleash some magic h-bomb on some village he was close to or the like. If magic is so bad that it needs to be eradicated for the good man(?) kind, then it would be good to have an example of magic laying waste to people in a pretty evil way.

I'm personally a fan of mind-fucky stories so I think it would be cool if you could explain a shit ton of things that valks thought he understood but it turned out the whole time the espins were really pulling the strings.

Like maybe they picked out his wife for him, made the resources he wanted unavailable on purpose so he would join the military, etc. And then when he finds out this his whole life has just been the espins trying to put him into some kind of situation (you'd have to figure out whatever this situation might be) he gets really pissed and wants to kill them all.

Or you could save that epiphany for the end of the novel to make it even more mind blowing. Basically the level of mind blowing is directly proportional to how awesome a book is IMO so if you can kill two birds with one stone I'd be a fan.

maybe have something like magic = life-force. so when people use magic, they consume their own life-force (or the force of others to add in a way to incorporate evil characters). therefore stopping magic use would be stopping the destruction of life-force and making everyone better off in general.

maybe add a 'plague' which in reality is just people using too much magic and killing themselves. maybe kill off the characters friend/lover.

WARNING GREAT WALL OF CHINA' WORTH OF TEXT COMING!

Okay, it's clear that unless I give you the full excerpt of what I've developed thus far, it will be difficult to really give you an idea of where I want to take this novel.

So, please forgive the massive text bomb I'm about to drop on ya'll.

This may take several posts. Just for the record, the whole goal of this novel is to give you one massive mind fuck, multiple ones in fact, challenging your views and morals. Presenting how you balance the politics behind decisions that affect not just you, your city, not even your country but possibly the fate of an entire continent or race. The stakes are so high that not even the protagonist or antagonist can possibly foresee the repercussions of their actions

Now that the health disclaimers are out of the way, lets get to the meat of the matter.


Espinu

History of magic

Magic in of itself is an energy that all creatures draw upon knowingly or otherwise. It is a commodity, a currency, a tool both domestic and militant. It is volatile, dangerous and chaotic by nature, held barely in check by those who would wield it.

Exposure to high concentrations warp the land, poison the flesh and mind, twisting them into abominations, and yet, magic in itself plays a vital role in the lives of the great empires of the world. In an age long past, a grand civilization rose to its apex upon the discovery of magic and the knowledge on how to weave it. The ancients as they are now referred to Espins, a short hand name which was created by an unknown scholar in light of the fact that the ancient weavers appeared to have worshiped a deity in named “Espinu”, were the first to discover the means to weave magic. It is their techniques and the ruins of their vast and elaborate empire that modern civilization builds their strength upon, spreading across the shattered lands that encompass the northern mountains and plains of Tyr’val.

Magic is corporeal and incorporeal in essence, the Espins discovered over many centuries of study that magic and the effects that it has on the land, be it spontaneous wild fires to explosive lightning storms was anything but that, it was controlled chaos, governed by intricate patterns that wove themselves upon each other. Geography of the land played as much of a role on how magic behaved as did the way it wove itself, natural magical stone formations channeled magic into valleys, canyons and through natural plains. These stones acted as conductors and repulsors all at the same time, under special circumstances, the Espins found that when “weaved” in a specific pattern, the energies would generate a specific effect, such as creating fire or conjuring water from nothing or mending torn or maimed flesh .

This commonly was found in valleys, canyons and caves where magical stones and minerals were concentrated the most, the energies would be pulled or repelled from stone to stone, until the right patterns were created. At first the techniques to control magic were extremely crude, using cut portions of the magical stones the Espins found they could replicate on a smaller scale the effects that magic can conjure. This was dangerous and extremely difficult at first, precise placement of the stones and long hours of perpetration were required to achieve even the smallest of effects, stones that were of improper size or incorrectly placed posed the risk of yielding little to no results or incompatible formations could cause a catastrophic spell failures which usually resulted in the attempted spell to go raging out of control or generate an unexpected spell with equally devastating results.

Over the course of the next century, the Espins slowly refined their techniques, rough hewn stones were crafted into purpose defined shapes, patterns were document and greater measures to simplify and streamline the process of weaving and make it a safer practice were pioneered by some of the brightest minds of the age. The Espins discovered that magic in itself is not something that spontaneously occurs, and concentrations of magic in any given location to where it is “weavable” are uncommon. In order to pool enough energy a catalyst must be involved, this took the form of large deposits of magical stones which in fact is simply normal earth that had been exposed to a millennium worth of saturation within the energies that their properties were altered to either repel or attract said energies. These natural formations of stone could be worked by a skilled mason into specified shapes that would help direct the flow of magic into a specific direction and pooled into a single spot where it could then be wove into the desired pattern. Despite the advances in weaving and techniques to hasten the means to produce a workable spell, the process was still painfully slow and dangerous. The methods utilized at the time made weaving completely impractical and the strain on qualified individuals was great since a single spell could take up to twenty or thirty individuals depending on the complexity.

It would be another seven decades before the next major leap in weaving would take place, up to this point, further refinement and advancements were achieved. Due to the scarcity of materials the Espins sought a means to artificially create the ores required to pool the vital energies to fuel their spells. While the resources required to do this were enormous for the period, the Espins found that by pooling the energies into a single location (Which usually encompassed several acres) and by enclosing it within similar ores that repel magic, they could contain the energies within a structure of sorts and focus the energies in one location, adjusting it accordingly by adding or removing ores that attracted magic. Leaving ordinary ore within these “capsules” allowed the Espins to speed up the process exponentially as opposed to what took millions of years to occur naturally. These capsules are in fact still used well into the modern era where they are treasured by their respective nations and protected not by just one nation but by all, for their loss would be significant and make the already scarce amount of workable magical materials even more so. Nevertheless, the process to produce artificially created ores was a slow process, one that no amount of technique could hasten; this was due to the fact that the capsules did indeed have their limits in terms of strength. Too much energy could pose the risk of a catastrophic failure of the capsule, releasing all of the energies held within, over exposure to such large amounts of magic would not only be completely uncontrollable, but was known to cause horrid mutations and adverse affects on living creatures.

Towards the end of the Espari dynasty (During this period the Espin were still ruled under a monarchy) after many decades of exhaustive experiments, the Espin found that stone was not the only thing limited to becoming magical in nature. Water, oil, and many other materials could be “treated” to attract or repel magic. It was at this point that the art of mass producing parchment was invented.

At this time, the Espin had reached the limits of what was known and the “hewn” method of weaving, and despite their ability to manufacture more potent stones to manipulate magic, weaving still was just out of reach in terms of being an accessible art for the common man or women of the day.

The development of the tome and glyphs would be the spark that would lay the foundation in which all modern techniques and rules that weaving is based upon.
The ancients found that by grinding the stones into a powder and mixing them with varying oils that were also refined in a similar manner, they could achieve a similar affect that the stones provided, albeit on a smaller scale. This also eliminated the margins for error since each “glyph” (which were diagrams that mirrored the shapes of the stones) could be reprinted with the perfect accuracy each and every time, thus nearly eliminating the errors that plagued the Hewn method of weaving. Tomes were not as expensive to produce en-mass in terms of materials and did not require the skills of an artisan to craft them nor were they difficult to comprehend. After nearly four hundred years of research and development, magic and the art of weaving had become accessible to the common man. Each tome could be tailored to the users skill level and vary in their potency, the way this was accomplished was by what types of materials went into the manufacturing of the ink. The longer the ore and whatever liquids were left to age within the confines of the capsules, the greater their magical potency, thus the more powerful the inks became. Particularly powerful inks were reserved for only specially ordered projects that usually went to the various military academies of the time or to the royal ruling family as such inks demanded a hefty premium in terms of coin.

Magic and weaving soon became a staple in the Espin society, its role permeated nearly every facet of Espirin life. Initially weaving was utilized in improving the Espin empires infrastructure, structures such as walls and irrigation systems that previously would have taken months or even years to complete were able to be constructed within days. The Espirin Empire experienced an unprecedented explosion in growth that had never been seen before nor since.

The Espin Empire began to experience severe growing pains, with settlements outpacing the infrastructure and the need for a greater military presence presented itself as more and more of the common man learned how to weave magic.

Ironically it was not the Espin scholars and Empirical weavers that first developed combat weaving, while the empire’ scholars and military was indeed looking into the possibilities of utilizing magic to augment their military, the vast majority of the Espin military strength still relied on traditional methods of siege craft and melee proficiency. The art of offensive spell weaving was forged out on the frontier where Espirin law was virtually nonexistent and military and local law enforcement were leagues away. While a well debated topic and under constant scrutiny, it is accepted by most modern scholars that bandits, slavers, pirates, rapists and other unsavory ne’er do wells were the first to lay the foundation of combative spell weaving, and while others dispute that the techniques of such individuals utilized during the time were crude and impractical, some still are in practice among modern weavers to this day. Criminals of the era did not put stock into the finesse and visual beauty that usually was taught in the mainlands of Espin society, crude yet brutally effective usually is what they strove to accomplish.

Out of necessity, the outlying towns, villages and settlements quickly learned that those who could not weave magic offensively could still be slain by those who could. It was not uncommon for such settlements to develop their own techniques and school the populace on how to defend against the merciless bands of criminals that plagued the wild lands as they were then called, even children as young as eight seasons were trained to fight.

The Espin society began to see the repercussions of its explosive growth, support of distant colonies could not be properly supported as organized crime began to rise in the major populated areas, strains on both raw magical materials required to craft the valuable inks for spell tomes and scrolls as well as other necessities to both fuel the economic might of the nation and its military, taxed suppliers to their absolute breaking point.

Crime was rampant out on the frontier and the empire was powerless to stem the tide as it struggled to catch up with the still rapidly growing population and he numerous colonies that dotted the outskirts of the Empires borders.

Around 147 PE (Post Espari) detailed documentation of the state of the Espin empire infrastructure and society began to be recorded, and while large gaps exist with the logs of the grand library, scholars have been able to make speculations on when the decline of the empire began.

After struggling to keep pace and ease its numerous growing pains, the Espirin Empires infrastructure finally stabilized around 202 PE, giving scholars an idea of the scope of the crisis that plagued the empire for over half a century. During this period prior to the stabilization of the government and its infrastructure, the surviving outlying settlements had grown to become completely autonomous and self sufficient. Dissension and animosity lingered heavily towards the empire they once called home, and tensions rose as the empire tried to impose its numerous taxes and sanctions on the former frontier colonies that had come to believe that they had been disowned or abandoned by the empire for nearly an entire generation.

Decades of anger frustration and desperation had hardened the more than seven hundred strong colonies that dotted the outskirts of the Espirin Empire which eventually led to diplomatic solutions falling through and civil war was becoming a very real possibility.

Tensions peaked during what is recorded as the Ro'ven gal (roh-vehn-gahl) massacre where over a dozen unarmed civilians protesting the latest taxes and sanctions on trade goods were brutally cut down after an Espirian Footman was assaulted while trying to press back the increasingly violent mob of protestors.

This one event triggered a series of other clashes between Espirin military members and colonial militiamen eventually leading to the unification of the colonies resulting the the start of the great Espirin Civil war

The Espirin Ko'tal (Which roughly translates into Shock troopers or Assault troop) were the first to respond to the uprising of the Va'kol resistance which was formed under Antol Vas Talmiir (A direct ancestor of supreme consular Sol’vir vas Tolmiir a member of the Clergy within the Anistol’Solvir Republic. Sol'vir Vas tolmir being the birth mother of Fio'ren (equivilent of a captain in the Solvirian An'taal [Marines] Vintova Vas Tolmiir) clashed with the belligerents then known as the Sha’ik kol tera (Shah-eek Kol Tehra)an elite force of sorts amongst the resistance that specialized in guerrilla warfare and assassination tactics.

For the next three seasons of brutal and bitter fighting it became evident to both sides that they were fighting each other to a stalemate and that prolonged battle would ensure their mutual downfall.

An uneasy ceasefire was called and the colonies officially claimed independence from the Espirin empire deciding to immigrate southwest over what is now the southern most portion of the Gol'kathken ranges along the coasts of the Straison (Stray-son)sea of what soon become the home of the newly founded nation of Kyr'tol.

Over the next century or so, relations between the Espirin empire and the Kyr'tolian would be hostile to conflictive at best. Over this period the nation of Kyr'tol rapidly expanded along the coastline, establishing trade with the native population and eventually from over seas, their economic might soon challenged even that of the empires.

As both nations expanded their boarders the Espirin empire soon found itself in a dire straits as room for expansion was becoming a growing issue. Established in a large valley surrounded on the north, west and north eastern side, the empire found itself boxed in and rapidly running out of space. the Importation of goods over land was becoming increasingly costly and difficult, the only means to alleviate this problem was to establish a trading rout through the numerous rivers that eventually emptied out into the sea.

As it so happens, the delta of these rivers was of course within Kyr'Tolian boarders. Attempts to negotiate a deal quickly fell apart and despite continuous attempts to come to some form of aggreement, the two nations simply could not find a means to meet half way. It was decided by the Espirin empire that they would force their way through as this was a matter of survival for their nation and the empire mobilized its forces in preperation of the possibility of war

The Kyr'Tolian lords forsaw this and established a naval blockade threatening to sink any Espirin vessal that dared to enter Tolian waters while also reinforcing their own boarders.

Dialogue was re-opened, with the Espirin empire demanding that the Tolian lords stand down. Tensions once again peaked and finally shattered with the sinking of several Tolian frigates and a dozen or so Espirin trade freighters.

the continent of Tyr'val was once again plunged into war as hostilities exploded once again between the two super powers.

*History still under construction*

In a nut shell, the Kyr'tol had developed a new method of siege craft that utilized the power of the "capsules" to fuel them, an act of desperation by the empire in an effort to stem the tide as they were making their final stand caused a catestrophic failure of the capsule resulting in a domino like effect the ripped through the both empires almost eradicating both parties. This event would then be known as "The Rending"

I'll be making another post shortly.

Good stuff. So i see now that another magic h-bomb isn't really possible.

You could always make the protagonist crazy !

Book I

This is still under development mind you.

Role of the Espins: The Espins count themselves as guardians and protectors of the lands in which their once vast empire spanned. They are the unseen guardians of the lesser races, and operate covertly through masterful usage of deception and disguise. They monitor their descendents, ensuring that they do not follow the same path that they did and ensure that the secrets of their empire are never fully discovered, keeping the means to manufacture their capsules just barely out of reach, promoting different methods to manipulate and harness magic.

In this way, the Espins have ensured the Rending does not repeat itself, an event that doomed their race and their enemies to their bleak existence that they now endure.

The Espins know that the mistakes that they made while meddling with the intricacies of magic should not be repeated, and have taken it upon themselves to ensure that their knowledge is not abused, and while their use of magic was ultimately led to their downfall, they believe the lesser races and their descendants may still be able to use it. They manipulate and influence politics and many facets of life behind the scenes, where they’ve infiltrated and planted themselves in kingpin positions. Everything from king to lowly fisherman, they are everywhere and nowhere at the same time, always watching, always searching for the first sign that those who they keep watch over start to stray down a dangerous path.

For centuries the Espins have successfully managed to manipulate the nations and guide them away from the darker secrets of Espin history,

They are a dyeing race, and over the hundreds of years that they’ve managed to successfully fulfill their self proclaimed duties, their numbers have now fallen to the point that they are no longer able to provide the necessary impact in order to influence the nations decisions as they were in the past.

Because of this they are beginning to become desperate, willing to go to any length to ensure that the younger races do not discover their role and how they’ve shaped their futures up until now.

Their chief concern revolves around a Dragen scholar and retired solider, Valkerus Von Caldreia, the foremost scholar and researcher of the Dragen high weavers.

**Book I**

The story starts with Elios visiting Valks his mentor and closest friend. After some small talk, Elios mentions that tension is rising with the other two major powers Gol’Kathka and the Anistol’Solvir Republic. Valks being distracted by his work simply grunts at him stating that these kinds of things have been going on for decades and likely, due to the status quo, nothing will really change.

A little bit of chamber bickering, perhaps a deal or compromise made here or there and everything will settle down until the next pointless and futile argument or event starts the process all over again.

Elios laughs and queries about what Valks is doing, to which Valks states that he is looking into the notes of some of this predecessors looking for reference or clues to a particularly troubling problem.

Elios at this point just nods and comments on that Valks needed to get out more often, staying cooped up in his study couldn’t possibly be healthy for him. Valks states that he’s seen much of the world while serving in the Dragen military, and that he is quite content burying himself in books and that in doing so he is not only keeping busy since his retirement, but that he’s potentially helping the Dragen people if such time leads to him discovering something to make life easier.

Elios shrugs and states that he does have a point, but insists that he needs to get out at least some time. It then dawns on Elios that a new set of ruins were discovered and that a colleague of his was working the site and that it would likely be a welcomed surprise if he were to be present to offer his input. This piques Valk’ interest, and he agrees that perhaps Elios is right and that he should get out more.

Valks packs some essential items and the next day the two of them head out to the excavation site. They meet up with a fellow scholar, whom is clearly surprised and pleased to see Valks at the dig site with him. He elaborates that he thinks he’s found an old archive, quite remarkable considering how intact it was and could be a discovery that will keep people like him and Valks busy for decades. Ecstatic over this revelation, Valks expresses his thanks to Elios for making him come out to the dig site. A few days pass and the excavation reveals that the ruins are indeed an archive, the scholar is then called to the ruins to look take a look at something that was recently unearthed, Valks states he needs to attend to something and will head to the ruins in a moment. Unfortunately, he would never get the chance, as a group of raiders assault the excavation site hoping for some easy plunder. Elios and Valks leap into action rallying the outnumbered guards in an effort to fend off the oncoming assault. While they are successful at repelling the attack, their efforts were not enough to prevent casualties. A stray spell strikes the entry way of the ruins and causes a cave which kills their friend who was investigating the ruins. With the archives destroyed and the lead researcher dead, the excavation was called off.

Elios and Valks return to town and share a sobering moment, Valks lamenting the loss of a friend and partner in their quest for knowledge. Elios while sharing a drink with Valks in silence and looking at paintings of his family comments by stating that it was tragic what happened to their friend and states that the timing couldn’t have been better or in this case worse. Safety measures were not able to be established at the time and he inquires to Valks about how another scholar and researcher met a similar kind of end a couple of years ago.

Valks comes to a realization and then inquires that it is a shame and then asks Elios about the passing of his parents who also were scholars that served in the Dragen military.

Elios states that all he remembers is that they were killed in a landslide shortly after a big discovery at a dig site, the ruins being destroyed in the process.

Vindicated by this information Valks reqeusts to be "Left to his thoughts" in which Elios somberly takes his leave.

Over the next couple of weeks Elios scarcely hears from his old mentor and friend, whispers of his obsession getting worse and rumors of insanity started floating around until one of his comrades in arms Mac'tyr inquired about how "The old man" was doing. Elios simply states he's not sure, he hasn't spoken with Valks much since the death of their fellow scholar. Mac'tyr expresses his concern about whats been going around and how distant Valks has become and requests Elios to check in on him.

Elios agrees and decides to pay Valks a visit once again. Upon his arrival and entry into Valks home he is presented with a venerable maze of books and a spectacular web of string pinned to various articles and portraits of famous scholars, nobles and entrepreneurs. Valks greets him clearly frazzled and disheveled if not a bit manic in his current disposition.

Valks expresses his surprise at seeing elios and mentions cheerfully that he would have made tea if he had known he was coming and perhaps tidied up the place. Elios a little taken aback at Valks' current living conditions inquires about what the web is all about.

Perking up like a dog being presented with a bone Valks quickly guides Elios through the elaborate tabernacle of thread. He then goes on to explain how numerous individuals in history especially those that promoted, studied or worked in the advancement of the magical arts all after a certain point in their research met an untimely end. the strings met each drew the connections between hundreds of individuals showing while seemingly unconnected there was indeed a great deal of evidence that there was a much more sinister force at hand that clearly did not want man to continue to advance in the art of weaving. Elios clearly concerned with where Valks was going with this patiently listened hoping dearly that he was wring.

Valks explainations pointed to the fact that despite the extremely strict census records that the empire holds on its population, that a great number of the individuals that were in direct positions of power could not track their lineage to any of the original founders which is odd considering the hierarchical approach to Dragen society. Valks goes on to state that every line has had one thing in common and that all these events typically followed a very linear path of one selection of families that had distant connections with all the individuals that either died or went missing, including Elios's parents. All there families were high ranking officials within the major powers of some sort in either business or within the government.

Elios at this point has heard enough and stated that this is madness boardering on treason. To accuse someone of the high orders of such treachery was a tall charge indeed.

*This is where I'm having trouble*

Skipping ahead at this point

After Valks manages to release the energies of a remote capsule and effectively "flooding" a large area with magical energy (which can be lethal by the way if exposure to it is prolonged) it becomes clear to Empire that this is no longer a national matter but a problem that has the potential to threaten all the countries.

That being the case two representatives from each nation along with a few others where then charged with the duty of finding and stopping Valks before he repeats this act but within the reaches of a populated area.

Among those who would accompany Elios are as follows.

*Note: I have yet to develop all of their bios*

♀ Talvir Vas Siidra: A well known and celebrated scholar and instructor within the Anistol’Solvir republic; Talvir is best known for contributing to the development and further refinement of the weaving techniques pioneered by Kora Vas Maltyr, a style of weaving which has become the staple and standard method of weaving for the Solvirian Republics, Antaal (Ahn-tahl) combat weavers. Talvir hails from a family of renowned blacksmiths, who specialize in the forging of the formidable war glaives, halberds and spears that make up the bulk of the Antaal’ arsenal. While disappointed that his daughter would not be carrying on the family craft, Talvir’s father Tolvir Vas Siidra gave his eldest daughter his blessing when she decided to pursue the art of weaving instead of smithing. Stern and unapologetically direct, Talvir is indeed the reason why the Solvirian navy remains to be one of the finest in all of Tyr’val, due in no small part to Talvir’ keen sense of tactics and strategy on the high seas.

♂ Vintova Vas Tolmiir:

♂ Kalim Gol Heidras

♀ Svintra Gol Nyxserra: (Svin-trah gol Nicks-sehrah)

♂ Mac'Tyr Von Logall:

These six individuals along with several other support characters (Who I have yet to name) set out to find and stop Valks.

*I've yet to fully flesh this part out mind you*

As the story progresses, Elios encounters the realities of what his empire is really like. Abuse of power, deception and betrayal among many other darker aspects of man who are willing to do anything in pursuit of their ambitions.

Elios slowly starts to develop doubts, as he chases after Valks who claims that magic is the root of the problem, and while not evil, it is something that all of the nations have become too reliant on and is causing the degredation of society as friends will turn on each other father will betray sons and blood is spilled all in the pursuit of attaining even more of this seemingly endless power.

Elios is constantly dragged deeper and deeper into darkness, and his beliefs that he is doing the right thing is constantly being tested. Eventually after fighting numerous followers of Valks elios is finally faces Valks forces in bitter combat, but due to his own arrogance and desire to prove something to himself he makes a fatal tactical mistake while trying to push in for the kill on Valks forces. Ultimately his mistake costs the lives of an entire unit under his command, their lieutenant in fact being a Talvir Vas Siidra, a women who he grew to love as he traveled with her (Though it was never admitted by either of them and nothing truly intimate really occurred between them, it was a visibly mutual feeling)

Her death coming at the hands of one of Valks' closest and most loyal followers a *blind weaver by the name of Svania Val'tol (Actually she's not truly blind, she can see so long as there is enough magical energy around here, areas like where the nation of Kyr'tol used to be which is void of magic, leaves her blind as any other normal person. This is a trait unique to her race, more elaboration on this will come at another date).

Devastated at this loss Elios is not sure what to do with himself at this point losing all confidence in himself as a leader. After some time, Svintra comes to comfort him(she's a little older than Elios, but like Talvir, has developed feelings for him, though she never acted on them). She assures Elios that Talvir's death was not his fault, and that he needs to be strong in this time of sorrow, she goes on to state that the women who killed Talvir is to blame but more importantly, she asks who was the one who forced his hand, who is the one who ultimately forced him to fight back, the one who ultimately gave the order for the girl to fight him and the rest of the group. Valks is the real person at fault and he needs to pay for his crimes. Vindicated at this realization and filled with rage, Elios vows to track down Valks and kill him and make him pay for the crimes that he's committed against both him and the empire.


*Details still are being worked on from here as well*

Elios fights his way onwards in his quest to find Valks and avenge the one he loved while at the same time he is slowly able to heal those wounds as he begins to grow fonder and more intimate with Svintra. He discovers that the Espins really were responsible for killing his parents, and he ultimately develops a deep hatred for them as he concludes that they are ultimately the reason for all his suffering. It was because of them that his closest mentor Valks was driven into insanity which in turn led to the death of the one he loved. In the last major fight of the first book (this is up in the air, I'm not sure if I want to make this part into two books extending what initially was going to be a trilogy into something more) Elios successfully defeats Valks forces at a major capsule, driving him away, but not before he was half way through the process of releasing the energies within.

While attempting to reverse the process, he is suddenly ambushed though Svintra takes the brunt of the attack and falls mortally wounded when she attempts to protect him from the surprise assault.

Injured it is revealed to Elios that Mac'tyr has betrayed him. Mac'tyr reveals that his true mission was to essentially martyr Elios, to give the empire a reason to go to war with the Gol'kathken dominion, with both him and Svintra dead he could lay claim that the "Hero of Tyr'val" was felled by Kathken treachery, no one would question it, for they were all heroes and he'd have "No reason to lie". The capsule they were trying to "save" was also close to a major Kathken military fortress, and it's tragic loss, despite there efforts would not be blamed on the empire due to their previous actions (Elios is not always successful through out the book at stopping Valks, the death of Talvir is a good example of one such failed attempt to prevent the releasing of a capsule)

Elios in a fit of rage, engages Mac'tyr in a long and vicious fight, eventually felling him. battered and broken he manages to make his way over to Svintra, who's vitals are fading rapidly. Despair falling over him once again at failing to protect the ones he holds dear, shock still settling in as everything he fought for is coming crashing down around him, Elios' final straw of sanity breaks with the revelation that Svintra is in fact, an Espin spy. Rage replacing sorrow, she reveals that she was sent to monitor him and ensure that he succeeded in stopping Valks, but at the same time didn't learn too much about their history or technology. If he did she was to kill him at the end of their mission. Fury over taking him Elios rages and questions if everything that shes done for him was a lie, was the intimacy all just a ruse. Svintra vehemently denies it all, stating that she indeed fell in love with him and that she chose to try to save him over her races official charge. Elios doesn't hear this of course blinded by his hate of the Espin race and the trauma of losing everything he held dear.

Attempting to rationalize it he comes to one final conclusion, one so simple while looking at the levers and faint glow of magical energy that adjust the intake of magic within the capsule.

Magic was the problem, Valks was right, it's the ultimate core problem of everything, without magic the Espins would never have constructed these contraptions, without magic their wars would never had occurred, without it their empire would not have crumbled, leading to their manipulation of society and the fall of his master, the death of his lover and ultimately the betrayal of his once best friend and that of his country. It all made sense, and the only solution is to get rid of it. At this point Elios makes a decision, the only way to stop the madness, was to eliminate magic in its entirety, to purge the land of its taint. To do this, he began the process of overloading the capsule, the result would leave the land similar to that falls within the the scar of the Rending, completely void of magic. And while many will die, he will ultimately be saving hundreds of thousands if not hundreds of millions of lives from the corrupting taint that is magic.

Thus ends book 1

And not a single fuck was given lol

I didn't read your huge wall of text. Sorry!

So. You mentioned that some of the younger Epsin can see the degeneration that their manipulations are causing. What if one of them gets to be chummy with Valks. This could lead to a possible confrontation between young Espin and old Espin which could cause some sort of ugly mishap. Like, a city block being destroyed. This would create motivation for Valks if this was his friend being destroyed by magic that his face doesn't have yet, but may have at some point. And how due to magic a few have chosen to try and rule the rest, versus letting them get on with growing up and developing naturally.

You know what's hilarious, is that these are all options I've already considered lol.

So, after some discussions with another friend of mine I have a partial solution. First off, due to the political atmosphere in the novel, each major super power is pretty balanced for the most part, and while the three nations

Rakour'Draga Empire
Anistol'Solvir Republic
Gol'Kathken Dominion

are enemies, they certainly are not exactly allies either, they all distrust each other equally. Valks through his research is onto something big, and as you know, the Espin control all of the major players here behind the scenes. What they did not foresee is that over the long periods of time, there have been threads that link them to the murders, disappearances, blocks in research projects etc. These "pointers" so to speak when plotted out make up an elaborate web that shows a trend and Valks has found this. However, Valks has no reason to believe that these individuals who span across the nations are in fact the Espin themselves.

Instead, Valks comes to the conclusion that due to the nature of how Knowledge is power, that each nation has a complex system of saboteurs and spys functioning within each country. It makes sense because if any one nation managed to make headway over the other, the entire status quo would be thrown into the wind with those on the failing side being at the mercy of the one(s) that is rising above them.

In this manner he finds it rather unnerving that he and his fellow scholars let alone anyone who studies magic have inadvertently become a resource, something to be played around with and in this struggle for power, peoples lives are being gambled away.

The Espin of course, have been keeping tabs on Valks, and unknowingly to Valks, he's linked a great number of these people in power (who make people "go away") who happen to be Espin. This causes a panic among the Espin themselves, fearing they may have been found out, naturally, this means they need to find a means to get rid of Valks.

One solution is to frame Valks and make him out to be the spy and charge him with treason, since his accusations later in the novel point towards to some extremely prestigious and powerful individuals within Dragen society.

Valks needs to feel that he's been abandoned, and the charge of treason against him, and his imprisonment may only vindicate his growing belief that the powers that be will go to any lengths to ensure that their quest for power is not hindered, even if it means trampling on people they deem beneath their notice.

There are more details I'm working on but this is what I've come up with so far. Right now, I'm also working on trying to flesh out who would follow him into war.

One idea is to play off of the "hero" aspect that Valks has come to represent in Dragen society, the belief that such a person could fall so far is ludicrous at best and that there are those who will follow him regardless of what is said about him.

A number of these individuals would likely be apart of the squads and platoons that followed Valks while he was still in the service of the Dragen military Scholara, among other things. Cultists, dissident factions that were crushed by Dragen invasion/annexatiion's of other nations could also prove to be very useful to furthering Valk's ultimate goals.

Spreading magic and taking away the one thing that made the super powers...well...super powers would also help balance the imbalanced status quo of the three nations not to mention the problems with the lesser/smaller nations that really have no say in what goes on between the larger ones, and are more often than not caught in between their conflicts.

There is a lot of potential followers for Valks, it's just a matter of developing them and coming up with some unique and likeable personalities to represent them.

Some of the names are place holders for now, they're original names that I created many years ago, so please keep in mind that they are liable to change at any given time

They are primary referred to as such.

Individuals from Gol'Kathka are usually simply referred to as Kathkens, Dragens, Solvirians etc.

Similar to how one of the oldest civilizations in the story their once proud nation being that of the Kyr'Tol are just referred to as Tolians or what have you. I may just cut some of the names out to simplify the names. As it is right now, it's up in the air

Mmm. Head hurts.

Don't over complicate it Art or you'll have a really awesome book no one but the most die hard will be able to follow. Or be interested in following. Too much political mumbo jumbo could kill your novel(s).

The book is actually very complicated. There is a lot of twists and turns, while political in nature, it's not necessarily the driving point. The real driving point is morals, and how screwed up ambition can be.

How seemingly noble ideas can end up being twisted, how with the fall of one great nation another will rise from the ashes.

How the actions of a few can leave a lasting influence on those that follow, and that the greatest legacy anyone can leave behind is an ideal, a philosophy. How that legacy can then shape the future even after its creator has long passed.

There is a lot at work here, it's just a matter of being able to properly portray it.