I've never written a blog; I don't even know what the fuck a blog is, but I've had two memories on my mind lately, and I can't seem to get rid of them.
The first one, is when I was back in 3rd grade; we were learning how to write in cursive. There was this stupid, fucking bitch of a teacher's assistant that hated me. I don't know why; I was a trouble maker, but there were about 3-4 others, and she singled me for out for some reason. Anyways, I was on to the "S's and T's", before most of the other children had reached their "D's and E's", and the teacher ALWAYS said I did fine. Well, she left one day, and the teacher's aide (not a student, an adult, btw), got to teach that day. Well, she walks over, when I'm getting to my U's, and she looks at my paper, and asks, "Is this what you've always done?", so I'm like, "Yeeeesssss?". She took my fucking paper, and threw it away, and said, "Effortless", and made me RESTART the whole God damn alphabet, all the way back from "A", and would NOT let me go to the next letter, until my letters looked EXACTLY like the ones above it. Of course, for that week were learning it, the regular teacher never came back, so I got stuck with lovely bunch of fucking roses assistant, and I learned to write cursive. I ended up finishing just behind everybody else, who gave me this weird look the entire fucking time I did it; I wanted to die, I was so angry. People are always telling me, "Wow, you have really nice cursive handwriting, how do you do it." and I always just tell them, "I have no idea, I just do." But now you know.
The second memory, is when my neighbor's barn caught on fire. I was sleeping on the trampoline, because I hadn't go to go camping for a few years, so it kind of felt like camping, so I enjoyed it. Well, I'm having a weird dream, and all of a sudden, a kind of popping sound wakes me up, almost like when you light off a firecracker, then I hear a noise what kind of sound like laughing. I open my eyes a little bit, and look toward the house (which is blocking my view), and it's fairly bright. I look at my watch, and I'm thinking, "That's odd....I don't remember the sun coming up at 3:30 in the morning, but then again...I'm not usually awake". So, I close my eyes again, and I'm beginning to feel irritated, because I hear a second voice, a guy, and the other voice that sounds like they're laughing again and several more kind of popping type sounds. I thought they were lighting off fireworks (it was later in July) or something, and I was just hoping that they'd just STFU and let me sleep. Out of nowhere, here's this "BOOOMMM" and then a wail like somebody's getting gutted alive, so I quickly open my eyes, and all I hear is screaming and wailing. I got up, and quickly ran to the house, and looked through the window. The ENTIRE barn is on fire, the laughing was her sobbing; her father was holding her back so she wouldn't run in to save her birds and her rabbits. She got away once, and quickly went in, and came back out with a couple of carriers that were towards the front, then her Dad wouldn't let her go back in; she was just wailing and screaming the entire time. I quickly woke up my family and a friend that was staying with us, and we called 911. Literally, less than 30 seconds later, the phone rings so we pick it up, and it's her....just screaming and crying into the phone for about 5-6 seconds, then she hung up. The fire department arrived, but there was nothing they could really do to stop it, so they just controlled it; my friend was also friends with them (all were in 4H at the time), so he went over and comforted her. I didn't go, but I really regret it, I just...couldn't. I couldn't bear to look at her; she was so sad. We all went over in the morning, and helped clean up some of the mess. Their aluminum boat had been completely melted into nothing, their tractor was destroyed, everything was gone. All 90+ birds were dead, along with her rabbits. I remember....finding some of the bodies with her, and she broke down and cried, and we all hugged her; even my friend, who is unphasable, actually had tears coming from his eyes. Her favourite bird was were nothing could have been done; we found his body, along with her others. He used to sit on her shoulder at the fair; she'd give him snacks, and people would come by and pet him; they were practically famous together. I feel so bad for her, because she always has to live with that memory, I can't help but just think about it all day.
I just needed to get these off my chest; I'm sorry I even made you read them; I just have nobody to talk to, and it feels good to tell somebody about something that you can't shake off of your mind.
The first one, is when I was back in 3rd grade; we were learning how to write in cursive. There was this stupid, fucking bitch of a teacher's assistant that hated me. I don't know why; I was a trouble maker, but there were about 3-4 others, and she singled me for out for some reason. Anyways, I was on to the "S's and T's", before most of the other children had reached their "D's and E's", and the teacher ALWAYS said I did fine. Well, she left one day, and the teacher's aide (not a student, an adult, btw), got to teach that day. Well, she walks over, when I'm getting to my U's, and she looks at my paper, and asks, "Is this what you've always done?", so I'm like, "Yeeeesssss?". She took my fucking paper, and threw it away, and said, "Effortless", and made me RESTART the whole God damn alphabet, all the way back from "A", and would NOT let me go to the next letter, until my letters looked EXACTLY like the ones above it. Of course, for that week were learning it, the regular teacher never came back, so I got stuck with lovely bunch of fucking roses assistant, and I learned to write cursive. I ended up finishing just behind everybody else, who gave me this weird look the entire fucking time I did it; I wanted to die, I was so angry. People are always telling me, "Wow, you have really nice cursive handwriting, how do you do it." and I always just tell them, "I have no idea, I just do." But now you know.
The second memory, is when my neighbor's barn caught on fire. I was sleeping on the trampoline, because I hadn't go to go camping for a few years, so it kind of felt like camping, so I enjoyed it. Well, I'm having a weird dream, and all of a sudden, a kind of popping sound wakes me up, almost like when you light off a firecracker, then I hear a noise what kind of sound like laughing. I open my eyes a little bit, and look toward the house (which is blocking my view), and it's fairly bright. I look at my watch, and I'm thinking, "That's odd....I don't remember the sun coming up at 3:30 in the morning, but then again...I'm not usually awake". So, I close my eyes again, and I'm beginning to feel irritated, because I hear a second voice, a guy, and the other voice that sounds like they're laughing again and several more kind of popping type sounds. I thought they were lighting off fireworks (it was later in July) or something, and I was just hoping that they'd just STFU and let me sleep. Out of nowhere, here's this "BOOOMMM" and then a wail like somebody's getting gutted alive, so I quickly open my eyes, and all I hear is screaming and wailing. I got up, and quickly ran to the house, and looked through the window. The ENTIRE barn is on fire, the laughing was her sobbing; her father was holding her back so she wouldn't run in to save her birds and her rabbits. She got away once, and quickly went in, and came back out with a couple of carriers that were towards the front, then her Dad wouldn't let her go back in; she was just wailing and screaming the entire time. I quickly woke up my family and a friend that was staying with us, and we called 911. Literally, less than 30 seconds later, the phone rings so we pick it up, and it's her....just screaming and crying into the phone for about 5-6 seconds, then she hung up. The fire department arrived, but there was nothing they could really do to stop it, so they just controlled it; my friend was also friends with them (all were in 4H at the time), so he went over and comforted her. I didn't go, but I really regret it, I just...couldn't. I couldn't bear to look at her; she was so sad. We all went over in the morning, and helped clean up some of the mess. Their aluminum boat had been completely melted into nothing, their tractor was destroyed, everything was gone. All 90+ birds were dead, along with her rabbits. I remember....finding some of the bodies with her, and she broke down and cried, and we all hugged her; even my friend, who is unphasable, actually had tears coming from his eyes. Her favourite bird was were nothing could have been done; we found his body, along with her others. He used to sit on her shoulder at the fair; she'd give him snacks, and people would come by and pet him; they were practically famous together. I feel so bad for her, because she always has to live with that memory, I can't help but just think about it all day.
I just needed to get these off my chest; I'm sorry I even made you read them; I just have nobody to talk to, and it feels good to tell somebody about something that you can't shake off of your mind.
unless you must go 40-0
