Awkward conversation with a troubled friend...(Possibly PG13+?)

Okay, I'm not sure what to say to my friend here.

He's always been the feminine sort, both in looks (I swear, the guy if he had long hair and put on a dress, he could pass for an extremely convincing TRAP) and personality, but apparently he has absolutely NO desire to date or have sex with men. He was bummed out over a girl that rejected him, it was a kind hearted rejection (If you can call it that) One of those "You're a wonderful and nice guy, but I don't like you that way" sort of rejections.

He was talking with me about it when he suddenly goes "I wonder if I was a girl if things would have been better" he looks at me and then asks "What would you do if I was a girl". I told him that I wouldn't know what I would do because for one, he's clearly NOT a women, and two I can't really imagine what it would be like if he was.

Help please? He's really kind of bummed out and this topic keeps coming back, it's not the first time he's said this and I really am at a loss of what the hell to say to him. It's uncomfortable enough thinking that he wants me to say "I'd date and or screw you if you were a chick" or something like that.

>___> I think he's tryin to flirt with you lol

Not touching this one.......

Thats between you and your confused friend lol

JrTapia1991 wrote:>___> I think he's tryin to flirt with you lol

*shudders*

Man, that's a tricky situation. Is he considering a sex change or something? The fact that he wants your opinion of him if he were a girl is at odds with him stating he doesn't like men.

Sym wrote:Not touching this one.......

Thats between you and your confused friend lol

Gee thanks Sym, you're a real pal

There are pros to being a woman.....no denying that.....but I would never sacrifice my manhood for anything.

To be fair, even in junior high he had major issues, several teachers mistook him for a girl especially since his voice cracked when he hit puberty. He still doesn't have a very deep voice, and like I said, he can easily pass for a women with minimal effort he wanted to.

Ante, I'm not sure, I think he's just depressed, he's never had much luck with women, and like me, was the subject of extreme bullying in school, so his self esteem isn't the greatest. I eventually learned to ignore it, I'm not sure if he ever recovered from the constant ridicule and learned how to cope with it.

He's not suicidal, but for what I know of him, he's always been very feminine, I'm the only one he's really confided in that when he was little he'd always play "girlish" games with friends, house, doctor, playing with barbie dolls as opposed to GI joe, if they were to role play he'd choose a female archetype and so on. But he has such strong convictions that he likes girls that I just don't know.

Closet gay perhaps? His parents are not religious, in fact one of his cousins is openly lesbian and they're just fine with it, so I don't think it's because he's scared of coming out and being rejected by his family.

As said, I don't know what to make of it.

He could very well be gay and afraid to admit it. It'd probably help if you let him know that you're fine with it and that you wouldn't shun him for it or anything.

That's assuming he's gay, of course. Maybe he just needs a shrink?

Just sit down and talk to him? Ask him how he honestly feels about his identity as a male, and talk to him about girls. If he gets shut down by one girl, big deal. My rejection list is quite literally four times as long as the good list. That's nothing to worry about, there's about 3.5 billion fish in the sea, no matter which side he decides to bat for. If he doesn't feel comfortable about his gender, then just make sure it's obvious that you accept him as a friend no matter how he chooses to identify, and that it's not important to you as a friend. Just...talk to him really. Support him.


I had to deal with this with a female friend, she got depressed when she struck out. Now she's happily dating another friend of mine.

Perhaps, as said, I'm the only one he's ever really come out and talked to about this topic, I've known him since high school and we went through very similar problems of being outcasts.

I just don't know how to ask him, I can't very well say "well are you sure you don't want to boink or be boinked by men?"

Artimise Flare wrote:

JrTapia1991 wrote:>___> I think he's tryin to flirt with you lol

*shudders*

+1ac for video, love that movie.



In terms of the question....just ask, it is really the only thing you can do

Do you have a picture of him, by chance?

I-...WE need one. For reasons.

I'll see if i can find one thats more recent