So I got a girl that I like, but she's in a relationship....

First off, I'm not one to move in on another guys girl, that's just plain messed up. I did not know she was in a relationship until today, but the interesting thing is when I congratulated her on getting a boyfriend she just made a mildly displeased expression and went "ugh".

This may sound awful but part of me hopes I may have a chance, but another part of me would like her to be in a good relationship even if it isn't me. I knew her when she was young, around 8 years old and it's been 10 years since I last saw her, in the time between we didn't get to talk to each other too much, but I plan on trying to make the most of what little time I have left before I go to basic in the fall to hang out with her.

From your guys' perspective, what would you make of the fact that it appears that she's having issues with her newest boyfriend (About a month or so ago she was single from what I can remember, and it doesn't look like it's going good since she mentioned he's been an ass for the past day or two)

Here's a pic of her.

Honestly dude. I can't tell you.
I am the guy who is almost 19 years old, never been in a relationship, nor much less ever told a girl I liked her.

Hell I can count on 1 finger the number of friends I actually considered friends who were girls.

But I hope everything works out for you though man

I guess I must be brave in some regards. The last girl I had feelings for lived in cali. I met her on the internet back in freshmen year during High School and I finally built up the courage to tell her I liked her after about 7 years. She was interested too and I went out to meet her. Long story short, it didn't work out.

It didn't end badly per say, but she's got some mental baggage that's keeping her from talking to me. Biggest risk I took and it hurt quite a bit.

Took me a while to get over her (still not completely I don't think) and I'm trying other waters and seeing who I'll meet. The girl here, I at least have some history with since we hung out when we were young, she was the one who gave me my dog too, so there is a little bit of a personal connection there too.

You seem like a nice guy Artimise so I recommend you talk to her and support her. I've been in this situation before and what I did was find out what the problems were and tried to help her through it. It sucks because deep down I wanted to be with the girl, but at the same time I wanted to be a true friend also and that meant being there for support.

Don't say negative things about her bf (I'm sure you wouldn't), just find out what the problems are and try to give her advice to get through it. It may hurt a bit, but I think that's the best course of action.

Yeah I agree with Dooms. either you solidify a friendship or things happen to not work out with her current bf and you get a shot at a relationship. Either way you get a relationship of some sort. Either ending seems decent in my book.

Yep and believe it or not sometimes friendship is better.

D00MSDAY DEVICE wrote:You seem like a nice guy Artimise so I recommend you talk to her and support her. I've been in this situation before and what I did was find out what the problems were and tried to help her through it. It sucks because deep down I wanted to be with the girl, but at the same time I wanted to be a true friend also and that meant being there for support.

Don't say negative things about her bf (I'm sure you wouldn't), just find out what the problems are and try to give her advice to get through it. It may hurt a bit, but I think that's the best course of action.

This is good advice. I've seen similiar situations and you may want to wait and see how she reacts to this so you understand what she might do in the future.



But i am also the same guy that doesn't believe in the whole "stealing someones gf/bf" of course people are more vulunerable sometimes and if they are looking around for someone else that means they don't care and aren't happy with their current partner. Of course if they are married (which theese two aren't) i'd just stay away from it completely because i respect marriage.

D00MSDAY DEVICE wrote:Yep and believe it or not sometimes friendship is better.

damn straight. i really a liked a girl, it all went tits-up, and now we're best friends.

i wouldnt have it any other way

I think Dooms hit this one out the park. Really sound advice.

Good luck, whatever happens!

My current GF (who I have been with for about a year and a half) started as "just friends". I took about 7 months of being friends before we started to date. It gave us a good platform to start our relationship on. Just be patient Arty, but don't sit back and wait too long. There is no shame in bird-dogging someones girl if she would rather be with you.



BTW she is very pretty

i agree with D on this one, just be her friend, if she is truly dissatisfied with her current bf then things will happen. like D said, don't trash talk the boyfriend, because that tends to blow up in your face.

just listen to her if she needs to talk, hang out of she needs to hang out, and keep in contact. don't be impatient, just let it roll.

Definitely listen to D and Heebs on this.

Just to lighten the mood a bit..

Thanks guys (and gals ) I'm pretty patient with these things. Like I said, I'd rather her be happy above all else, even if her being happy isn't with me.

Will it hurt? Damn straight it will, but I've been there done that got the T-shirt with the last girl I liked.

Something that complicates this whole situation though....I'll be going into the service, so I'm not sure how it would work if it turned out that she liked me. I don't know, it doesn't seem fair to ask her to wait for me while I'm in the service, especially since it would have been such a short time for us to really get into a relationship in the first place.

We'll see I suppose, what do I have to lose in the end? It's like what Mr E said, either way I'll most likely get a friend out of it, intimate or not.

Also thanks Terry, I sure think she's pretty as well