So regardless of whether or not my arm is up to it, im going to Alaska

Things are a bit too fresh, I think, for you to consider anyone else anyway.

In the larger picture though...she hasn't really treated you respectfully. It looks like she led you on and told you what you wanted to hear because she knows/knew how you felt.
Anyone who is going to treat someone that way and basically treat them as a filler relationship isn't worth your time or energy.

Its completely up to you what you do in your dating life. It may take awhile to get over this. As I've said before though, you're young, your feelings and habits aren't set in stone. You'll change. In 5 - 10 years, you'll probably look back at this point and think you were being completely stupid or it could also still hurt.

At this point though, work on feeling better, somehow. Take as long as you need to get over it. I would also put some distance between her and you. Because if she's having this effect on you, the relationship has gotten a little toxic.

Dropped Da Soap wrote:I don't care anymore to be  honest.
I  don't want anyone else.  I  know it sounds stupid,  but I am not the kind of guy  who can just go out and try and pick up chicks.
Like I don't want sone random girl or something.
im the type of guy who needs to feel something, to feel  like an emotional connection with someone before I feel attracted to them. And I don't believe that is something you get just by talking to people.

Like with Dani. we met at a theme park, and as she has said numerous times, she had to fight and force her friendship on me. then we become close friend's over the following year. Hanging out almost weekly, talking all  the time. Hell she was the first friend I have ever  had throw me a birthday party, hell first friend to ever remember my birthday.

And she has done far more for me than all that. She knows things about me I haven't told ANYONE.  I really don't think I will ever find someone I  have a connection like  that, just by asking girls out

Soap, you're talking from a very dark place right now. Buddy, it'll pass. I'm not one of the older members, but even I can tell you that shit gets better. You'll pull out of it soon, you'll find new, better friends. And you know, some of them won't have a Y chromosome. Some of those Y-less friends will be interested in you. You'll talk to them, and you'll realize that you can befriend people without a problem. Opening up to others is tough, but it'll get better. Just because you struck out once, doesn't mean you're done for. Chin up, and go make your life better than it ever was. You can do it. I believe in you, all of us do. You're our friend, and we know you'll be good. There's a lot of great advice, pay attention to what everyone has said. It'll help.

And you know, we're always here to help you man.

Thanks guys I really appreciate it.

Its just, nothing in my life has been going right these past 5 months. First my dog got horribly sick for 9 weeks, and I blew over a grand in vet bills. Then for three weeks I was dealing with almost unbearable stress from work and dealing with constant panic attacks and went days straight without sleep. 

Then I fucking jacked my shoulder up like 3 weeks after my life started too improve, missed a whole month and a half of work, and counting. Having to deal with stress from bills and the possibilty of surgery that I won't be able to afford in my lifetime. 

now all this, with someone I consider to be the best damn friend I have ever fucking had. Its like.....whats the fucking point. I cant tell you guys how many times I have almost given up, and called it quits. It got so bad I gave all my knives, and swords to my mom when I had a panic attack and split the top of my right hand open in 10+ places with a Balisong. 

I am literally THIS close to giving in.

You got hurt at work, didn't you? Shouldn't you be getting workman's comp?

Also, depending on where you work, see if they have EAP...employee assistance program. You may be able to call and talk to someone about the stressors in your life and a way to deal with them.

No, it wasn't at work I got hurt at. Though after getting hurt, I figured it was a normal typical ijury(I used to ride dirt bikes, I fell TONS)and thought it was just sore and go away after a few days, so I continured to go to work with it. So I think work exasperated it.

Oh ok.

Well, I would see if your employer offers an EAP. You should be able to talk to someone free for a few sessions (I've done this, it helps).

Or look into finding a hotline to call where you can talk it out with an objective party. Sitting a stewing over the bad things isn't going to help. It will just drag you down further.

I'm only going to say this one more time.

She's stringing you along.

You need to move on and get away from her, because all she is doing is playing games with you. I've seen people (male and female) do this plenty of times. She's got you on a back burner to use when she needs a pick me up, or some dick, or something. She is not going to get into a relationship with you. So stop. Just stop and move on. The longer you hang around her begging for scraps (cause that's what you're doing, and it's not a turn on, even if it is an ego booster) the more damage you're doing to yourself.

Sorry honey.

And honestly, no person is worth it. She's not your life. Your life is what you make of it. Go out there be happy, for yourself and by yourself.

Sheep nailed it. You may care for her greatly, but the longer you allow her to keep you on the back burner, the worse it's going to be for you in the end. I've allowed it to happen to me and well it sucks, so I know that feeling. The best for you is to just move on and try to find happiness in something else, whether it's video games, art, drinking, man whoring, or whatever.

It's always time for tough love. There is no time for wallowing. And I don't know how to give any other kind of love.

True. Soap might enough seeing Grey's nekkid chest. I know I do. He has a fantastic chest.

Frostbyrn wrote:Topless Love?

And Sheep: I know. I know, just too stubborn and blinded by my feelings to admit it. But I am starting to see it now.

I've felt that way for a long time after this one bitch left me soap,it took me a long time to get over it but yea find something else to take your mind off it like videogames, alot of nights I'd be depressed as hell and it would cheer me up playing battlefield with everybody laughing a bit

I can send you a couple pictures of my topless love right now.....

Captain Pirate Pineapple wrote:I can send you a couple pictures of my topless love right now.....

Hey i might have a chance with them!

Not sure if we are thinkging the same thing Kalei. 

Dont want to get some naughty pics of you naked wearing some fur boa or something...

Dropped Da Soap wrote:Not sure if we are thinkging the same thing Kalei. 

Dont want to get some naughty pics of you naked wearing some fur boa or something...

No. Those are in my personal collection. I'd send the good ones, but stupid this website owner people whatever they are, won't allow it.

sheep wrote:It's always time for tough love.  There is no time for wallowing.  And I don't know how to give any other kind of love.

Word.

JrTapia1991 wrote:I've felt that way for a long time after this one bitch left me soap,it took me a long time to get over it but yea find something else to take your mind off it like videogames, alot of nights I'd be depressed as hell and it would cheer me up playing battlefield with everybody laughing a bit

oh battlefield bringing people together and making kids angry

So considering she doesn't  have a free weekend until the 12th, ir really do feel like I don't matter anymore.

So.we.are going to "hopefully" meet sometime nextt week, like a Thursday or something, so I can give her, her birthday  present I got her. And I am going to buy her a coffee or something for her birthday, which was Saturday.

I plan on telling her everything, how I feel right  now, my feelings for her, amd so forth. But I know that it might be a mistake meeting her, and might just be a chance to leave myself open for more pain,.but I feel like I need to do this. Like.its my final shot at anything.

if nothing happens, im giving her her present, giving her a hug, and thanking her for being my  friend. An that I can't do this anymore. 

I know that its going to hurt, but I feel like if I just give up, liks I planned last night, I will regret it. I just need clarification

Get ready for some realness soap.

I know what you're going through man...at least I think I do. Remember I said I had a bad breakup Christmas 2 years ago? Well that really fucked me up and I mean REALLY. I thought this girl was going to be the one. I imagined a future with this girl. Imagined getting married and having kids with this girl. I thought I had hit the jackpot. She was beautiful and funny but we could also have deep conversation about life and even a little bit of spirituality in the mix. When I was around this girl I could practically feel my neurons firing individually. Sometimes I felt like I was actually getting high off the wonderful energy she exuded. And the sex was physical,emotional and spiritual all rolled into one...truly mind blowing. I just really felt alive when I was with her. She even helped to inspire me creatively. Just being around her made me a better person.

And then out of the blue I get an email...that's right a lowly fucking email. And that was it we were done. Couldn't even tell me to my face. And do you know why she didn't want to see me anymore? Because essentially I was too much of a broken human being for her. Yup she told me I had too many scars from my past that I still carried. I didn't have the easiest life growing up and it shows sometimes. And just like that poof...the girl of my dreams walked out of my life. Just when I thought I was finally getting my shit together and my life on track the girl that was everything I could have ever wanted in another human being and more was gone.

And after reading that breakup email the only thing I could do was pace back and forth up and down stairs and all around my house while clutching my chest where my heart is because it felt like it was going to fall out of my body. My heart literally ached. I felt physical pain where my heart was. That had never happened before and it went on for hours. It almost felt like a dream that wasn't real and that I would wake up any minute in her arms again...but it wasn't a dream. Just crushing reality. And I cried, and I fell into one of the deepest depressions I've had in my life.

But you know what soap? I came back around. After a few weeks I came out of my depression. But you know I won't lie...I don't think I've fully recovered from that experience. I still think about her alot. Probably close to everyday. She'll always be the one that got away and I don't know that that will ever change. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. But with time you learn to cope with these harsh feelings. When I think of her now it doesn't hurt. It's just turned into a dull, distant yearning.

I haven't talked to her in close to those two years since we broke up. We talked for a bit and tried to stay friends but it was just too hard. I begged and pleaded with her to give me another chance but it was stupid of me to do that and I came off as pathetic and a creeper I'm sure. I thought it was a good idea at the time but looking back I should have just walked away. The only time I've talked to her again is when I bump into her at the restaurant she works at and you know the last time that happened I said hi and she didn't even let on that she knew me.

That hurt too but I cope. Christmas is forever ruined for me and I haven't had a meaningful relationship or really cared about anyone since that girl. I realized a little while ago that I've just been faking it. But other than that I'm mostly ok.

Human beings are designed to be put through some truly hurtful and heinous shit and come out the other end more or less ok. You'll be alright after this man. You might not be quite the same person but things will get better. You'll be ok man.

keep your chin up and remember when you're drowning in the dark waters of depression, being swallowed up and drug down into the abyss it might seem like there's no light anywhere but the water clouds your vision and there is light still all around you even if you can't see it so don't give up man.

Hope you feel better soon dude and if you ever want to talk you can shoot me a pm or something. Hang in there bro.

I think Hydra just channeled the spirit of Artimise.

Holy Damn Hydra.  That is rough. I really don't know how to process that.

But thanks. I really appreciate it

Dropped Da Soap wrote:Holy Damn Hydra.  That is rough. I really don't know how to process that.

But thanks. I really appreciate it

Don't mention it man. Just needed you to see that life can go on even after something extremely shitty.

yeah Hydra pretty much put what I was saying more thought out I guess, it's true you're not the same person after all this shit,but I feel actually better as a person and more wiser knowing that she wasn't worth a damn. Don't hurt yourself over a girl soap, I get really down about stuff in the world but I'd never get down over a girl now, sounds cheesy but it's like that Slim Shady song bitches they come they go

I pretty much feel the same now about other chicks,they never seem to measure up or have the same magic that the 1st true love did, then again I'm in a very shitty area lol.