Our Hearts, Our Love

The distance between us may be great
But that doesn't matter to our hearts
As I look at the moon and close my eyes
I can see you in my arms
Holding you tight
Our hearts beating in sync
A sense of reassurance comes over me as you press against me
Our love is too strong to be broken by the words and opinions of others
The moon shines brightly upon us
We're all that can be seen
Our happiness is all that matters
Our breathing slows as we begin to drift into sleep
We're connected now and forever
Nothing can separate us
As the light dims
I hold you tighter
Rest my chin on your shoulder
The light has faded
And though we are in the dark
Our love will light our way
We are strong
And our hearts make us stronger

i liked that its very... touching. and sorry about bad grammar, it takes to long on psp.

*Looks at views*
I guess people only like it when I'm dark and depressed.

I never knew you posted another one, I love it, good job.

Thanks Bla, I wrote it recently for my special girl.

Thats nice =]

She wrote me one at 3am cause she couldn't sleep at the same time I was working on this one for her as well. We had no idea we were writing for each other.

How long have you two been together for?

Just a short time, but we both enjoy writing. She liked two of the ones I sent her (they're on here: The Invader and The Accident) She really liked them, but they made her a little sad. The Our Hearts, Our Love one I've entered in a local poetry contest to get a chance at having it published in a book.

I think you have a good chance of making it in the book.

We'll see, this is the first time I've entered any of my writings for anything. I usually just share them with friends and family, but she has confidence in me so I thought if she believes it's that good then I'll give it a shot.

I'm willing to bet a lot of people on here believe that it's that good. I do.

I'd like to know what more people think about it, this is actually the first, I guess, love poem I've wrote, but I don't think the creative section get much love.

Yeah, I wish it did. You could always make another topic with a title asking people to please read?

Eh, it feels too much like a love poem. I'm sure to you and your girlfriend it's very personal and touching, but to a larger audience it seems trite and, well, I don't want to say cliched, but.....simple. Its images aren't very strong and the writing sounds closer to an essay than a poem.

I'm not trying to downtalk your poem by any means; if your gf likes it, then that's great. I'm just telling you how I, an outsider to your relationship, initially respond to it.

That's any criticism is welcome.