****ing parents....

Well after having a nice night alone learning songs on my guitar, my parents come home from a night out and start arguing. It wasn't big arguing but then they got into a fucking shouting argument and shit and it sounded like stuff was being bashed around and violent crap which they don't seem to give a shit about me being in my room hearing it all they are so fucking ignorant and they started talking about divorce again while I am in the house. They are like fucking kids and they don't realise shit all or care that I am even there and I feel depressed because of it and if they do divorce I am not living with either of them because it's ridiculous and I don't want to deal with this anymore.

I have to vent this somewhere because I feel so angry and depressed, they don't seem to give two shits about what their child thinks or has to go through and they don't fucking work it out like civilised people.

Parents are people too. They make mistakes. They can't be perfect or parents all the time, sometimes they just have to be people.

While I don't think it's ok to have arguments and shouting matches in front of your kids, or where they can hear you, it happens sometimes. Sometimes it can't be helped. People tend to be volatile emotional creatures. Or creatures of volatile emotions...

Have you talked to them about it? They may not even realize what they are doing to you. Approach them calming and let them know how you feel when you hear them fighting that way.. . but don't attach them for it, that will only make things worse for you.

Sorry you have to deal with all that Whee Brit.

They do it plenty of times thats just it. If it was the first or second time I would tolerate it, I know what you're saying but the way it's going is ridiculous and should of been fixed by a normal conversation about the problems.

They are taking it too far and I know I am not going to go and argue in front of my kids in the future and I won't have a shouting match or anything because I don't want to harm my children. Sure they're just people as well but you don't fucking keep at it especially after a few arguments. I hate it so much. My sister is drunk so texting her and telling her about it won't help anything at all and my brother is at work in Scotland. I always deal with things alone with no one to help me.

its alright man. i would make u a crumpet but i still dont know what they are

Crumpets honestly taste like shit anyway GM you can google it to see what they are.

Meh that is nothing compared to what i go through. You will be ok.

Hah nothing.. Parents aren't my only concern tom. I have gone through a lot of shit for the past 8 years or so and no one seems to do shit all to help and you think you have bad things when you seem to get everything to do with tech and knowledge about it unless you only use links and google/news feeds to know shit which is why most things become arguments.

Don't tell me what my life is like and how bad it is from one issue. I have years of bottled up anger and depression that has to come out sometime.

Boxxy wrote:Hah nothing.. Parents aren't my only concern tom. I have gone through a lot of shit for the past 8 years or so and no one seems to do shit all to help and you think you have bad things when you seem to get everything to do with tech and knowledge about it unless you only use links and google/news feeds to know shit which is why most things become arguments.

Don't tell me what my life is like and how bad it is from one issue. I have years of bottled up anger and depression that has to come out sometime.

I can guarantee you that my life has been AT LEAST 2 times worse than yours.

Mind explaining how first since I don't believe two times worse at all. If it is worse then I think it is only a bit worse or 1.5 at least.

Ok cmon guys... There is no possible way you can compare each others life you haven't seen everything each other did.

Ban i understand the arguing thing my mom and dad do it all the time all my life i've always heard them argue.

I am sorry sheep but i am gonna have to disagree with you. Your always a parent once you have a kid.

Yeah I know Gilga, I needed to vent something and hearing someone say something about there life being worse pisses me off because I never challenged anyone to who could have a crappier lief >_>

Tom, no offense man, but don't come into a topic about someone venting and tell em yours was worse.

Its not a competition. He came here to vent, not have someone tell him "Your okay cause your life doesn't suck as much as mine"

hey man atleast you still got both your parents my dad went to prison 10 years ago don't even remember what he looks like or even know when he's getting out
i wish best of luck my friend

Boxxy wrote:Crumpets honestly taste like shit anyway GM you can google it to see what they are.

he, im tall. but im going to say ive gone through with something similar to what you are prolly going through. and honestly. it does suck becuase there is almost literally nothing you can do about it. its hard to confront them about it because th either wont care or fget angrier, but if you think you can do it give it a shot, not going to say its the best idea ever.

you know how kids start acting up when life is bad at home for attention. not saying this is the best idea ever but if you think the situation cvan be diffused. you could cause some problem(not an annoying one, one where the parents know that you purposefully smashed it ) you could try getting their attention in a way that wont affect you as much, but make the parent realize that they should get their shit together. maybe. this is more of an extremist option. not going to reccomend it wholeheartdly but its always good to know their may be something you can do.

from the hottest fires come the stongest steel

tall philosophy quote242

Yeah, man. It may suck hearing them argue. But try sitting down and talking to them. Maybe hearing something from the mouth of their child might strike a thought or something and make em think more.

Just don't not say anything man, you don't want to take that risk of everything getting worse.

make sure they know the consequences of their actions

just talk to them

Frost's Lover wrote:Tom, no offense man, but don't come into a topic about someone venting and tell em yours was worse.

Its not a competition. He came here to vent, not have someone tell him "Your okay cause your life doesn't suck as much as mine"

He is making it out to be this massive issue when it isn't at least to me. I know it is not competition.

Tom, nobody gives a damn. Drop it. Most people don't walk up to people who are going through rough times and say, "Deal with it, my life is 102390239 times worse than yours!" This is yet another example of why people get annoyed by you sometimes.

I'm sorry Boxxy. I've been lucky and my parents get along. I have lots of friends who have gone through their parents getting divorced or arguing a lot, and it doesn't seem like it would be an easy thing to deal with at all. I hope things get better for you man.

Wacco wrote:Tom, nobody gives a damn. Drop it. Most people don't walk up to people who are going through rough times and say, "Deal with it, my life is 102390239 times worse than yours!" This is yet another example of why people get annoyed by you sometimes.

I'm sorry Boxxy. I've been lucky and my parents get along. I have lots of friends who have gone through their parents getting divorced or arguing a lot, and it doesn't seem like it would be an easy thing to deal with at all. I hope things get better for you man.

Well first off that comment did not come till after he attacked me again and I do feel sorry for him but he is most likely blowing everything out of proportion.

He attacked you because you came in here and trivialized what he's going through. Not a good way to treat people in general, especially if they're in a tough situation.

Wacco wrote:He attacked you because you came in here and trivialized what he's going through. Not a good way to treat people in general, especially if they're in a tough situation.

but it is not a tough situation....

t-800 wrote:

Wacco wrote:Tom, nobody gives a damn. Drop it. Most people don't walk up to people who are going through rough times and say, "Deal with it, my life is 102390239 times worse than yours!" This is yet another example of why people get annoyed by you sometimes.

I'm sorry Boxxy. I've been lucky and my parents get along. I have lots of friends who have gone through their parents getting divorced or arguing a lot, and it doesn't seem like it would be an easy thing to deal with at all. I hope things get better for you man.

Well first off that comment did not come till after he attacked me again and I do feel sorry for him but he is most likely blowing everything out of proportion.

Tom.. You were the first to start saying stuff like "oh my life is harder don't worry about it".

I mean cmon man even you have to see stuff like that.

fuck off tom. idc what youve been through you cant walk around denoncing people because you think what you went through is worse

TheGM86 wrote:fuck off tom. idc what youve been through you cant walk around denoncing people because you think what you went through is worse

Well fuck. I thought my dad leaving my family after years of screaming divorce was bad, or my mom having no way to support us, or the fact that my family fights every single day but hell lets just say what he is going through is worse.

go to pm man

TheGM86 wrote:go to pm man

How about you go fuck yourself and stop jumping to conclusions.

Your not understanding tom. You don't tell a guy whos got alot of bad stuff going on to not worry about it because you have it worst, I mean it's like telling a guy who just got shot to stop complaning because you got shot twice(a little extreame i know but you get the point).

you do realize i meant private message man. and wtf do you mean jumping conclusions? answer in pm

Sorry, Nanner! I went through this too but my experience was mixed with a lot of violence. They would have the normal throw down but then some times we would be dragged outta bed for some beatings.
Please know that it gets so much better later. If they divorce things get MUCH better.
You'll make it through just fine but remember the experience so you know what NOT to do with your significant other and children.
Good luck and if you need to talk please PM me.

On another note:
You guys have been a little rough on Tom so try to ease up. We are all in this together so give him a chance.

DAMN!

You guys calm down and take it to PMs like Tallness suggested or I'll Lock it.

I went through similar circumstances luigee, dad was in prision first half of my life, then got with my mom after he got out. He started selling drugs and became a pretty bad drunk. My parents fought constantly and once my mom got fed up with it, she was left with all his debt and had to raise three kids on a single income.
Its was hard to deal with it at that age, because I knew what was going on, but was clueless in how to help. Sometimes I feel like the whole thing left me kind of stunted emotionally...more than once in my life iv felt zero about somthing that should have effected me in someway.

Sorry that turned into a vent session of its own. Hang in there man, I know how can feel. It gets better bro.

Wow, Epyk you stated something I could never put my finger on.

Well like they say all heroes have daddy issues lol.

ya some of the best people come from the worst situations becuase of all the test and stamina their mind and body have been forced to put up with

ie tall philosophy quote 242

When I look back at it, I view my father as a role model of what NOT to do.
sure I have my fualts like anyone else...but..

Tom, again, shut up man. Your just embarrassing yourself.

Everything is chill now, Sym so please help keep the peace.

Yes, my dad was a perfect example of how not to raise children. I was blessed enough to see that and had a wonderful time raising my sons, in that I could give them all the things that I didn't get. I actually LOVED them.

damnit guys youre makin me feel like i have it too good...

Maybe its just right zillah.

well actually my dad has NOT been too well recently...

my grandpa died today...

Didn't read all the posts, but this is my take on the matter, since I lived in a house that was extremely dysfunctional as well.

People tend to get emotional, and it always takes two to start an argument. In many cases it starts with a number of the following

one person inadvertently raising the tone of their voice,

one of them says something and the other individual misunderstands what they're trying to say and raises their voice in response or also in most cases a combination of the above.

This then leads to one or both of them that they are being attacked, and they then go on the defensive, most likely raising their tone of voice again as they get more emotional, neither of them hear how they sound, and automatically assume the other person is the instigator and they are the victim.

Soon neither of them are able to hear what each other is trying to say, and are only hearing certain things that the other is saying, most of it is hurtful in some way or another.

What's happening is an utter breakdown of communication, and the inability to stop and take a deep breath and try to calm down.

What NEEDS to happen is for ALL of you to sit down and explain what is troubling you as their children. But first, they must be willing to listen to each other, this might be able to be achieved by having you stepping into the fray when either of them starts to raise their voice, a tap on the shoulder to remind them to try and stay calm. It helped my parents, though it didn't save their marriage.

Parents don't always see what happens to their children when stuff like this happens. Me and my brother explained to my parents when they came to us and said they were divorcing, that we saw this coming YEARS ago. Even when I was around 6 or 7 years old, though I didn't quite understand it, knew something like this was probably going to happen. A child is much more perceptive that adults think they are.

You guys and gals, need to try and have a long lengthy chat, this is not something that is just between your parents, it involves all of you, and it must be a family effort to try and improve things. Does it suck that the child has to be the first one to take the mature steps here? Yes, but does it have the chance of making things better if the parents realize what's happening to their children because of their constant bickering? Yes it does.

I'm not expert on psychology, but I just felt that I should input my two cents here.

What do you have to lose soap? Actions can make all the difference, and in the end, at least you can take from the experience something that you can learn and grow on.

Sorry you have to live in an environment like that, I wish you luck.

Sorry to hear that zillah. Were you two close?

Epyk wrote:Sorry to hear that zillah. Were you two close?

yeahh, kind of. i went on a trip to washington with him last spring. he's been really out of it the last few years after he'd had open heart surgery.

everyone in my family new it was coming, so that helps. november 8th, 1926 - march 5th, 2011.

its the first person ive ever really known to ever die, so its kinda struck me. been thinking about death a lot, its just hard to grasp.

I've known a few who've died in my family. One wasn't really directly blood related, but at the time she was a potential step sister.

Died in a car wreck, she was at fault, but you don't die instantly even if you were hit by a Yukon while driving a Honda Civic Sedan. Stupid bitch who hit my sister was too busy bullshitting with her college friends and doing nearly 80 mph in a 45 mph zone.

My step father was robbed of his daughter as was me and my brother robbed from having a younger sister...

Sorry, it still leaves a slightly bitter taste in my mouth when I think about it -.-

its just weird how people can be GONE. never seen again. ever.

try and think about what dead people are thinking about... you cant. it actually gives me a headache. i cant even grasp it.

Zillah wrote:its just weird how people can be GONE. never seen again. ever.

try and think about what dead people are thinking about... you cant. it actually gives me a headache. i cant even grasp it.

The only experience of death I have had is with pets. I am not looking forward to having to experience the death of someone close to me.

Damn we are all screwed up here.





I think we all need a hug.

Trust me, it took me a good ten minutes to realize what I had just heard when my mother called me and told me what had happened. Only other person I knew who had passed away before was my grandfather, but I never really knew him, but then again, I didn't really know my soon to be step sister either. Not sure why it hit me harder.

Perhaps it's because she was closer to my age, about a year or so younger than me, and also because she was going to be my SISTER. I grew up with a half brother, truest in the sense that he is LITERALLY half man and half women mentally (He's gay if you didn't catch that). Being the baby of the family, I was kind of excited to have a sibling younger than me, even if it was only a step sibling. But no, fate intervened and deemed that it was her time to go. However, I believe it was avoidable, you don't die instantly even if you're hit by a large vehicle like a Yukon if it's going 45 mph. What pisses me off is that the stupid bitch was doing nearly 40 mph over the speed limit, why the FUCK do you need to be going that fast on a commercial street?! That's a felony by the way, and to be honest, at the time I hoped she rotted in prison for life. I'm not one to hold grudges, but that just rubs me the wrong way, and while I can't say I've forgiven this person really, I'm trying really hard to. People make mistakes, but in this case, it cost my family a loved ones life.

it was just weird being at my grandparents this evening with all of my family.
"wheres grandpa?" oh wait... i was just talking with him like 3 days ago.. ok, im done talking about death

Wow this topic is full of rainbows and butterflys.
I've experienced a few deaths in the family nothing really big though the one that effected me the most was my grandma I wasn't to close to her but it was crazy seeing my mom reacting to it. But it did give me a funny memory in life to even it out. We were at the get together after the funer. Everyones bummed out and crtying and whatnot. Then my dad turns to me and says so smoothly "Uhhhhhhh you wanna watch some football.". Seems sorta selfish but again I wasn't so distraught over the death but my moms reaction.