Girlfriend troubles... venting

Well I'm in 12th grade now and we've been dating since the beginning of 10th grade. I think we have the longest running relationship in the entire school.

But we've decided to "take a break" because things just haven't been going so well in recent months. It's really all her, not to say I'm perfect. I've just noticed that she isn't really... sweet anymore. She doesn't really like to be hugged or kissed or anything anymore, she never calls or texts me unless I do it first, and sometimes she doesn't even respond at all. Whenever we're together she'll talk to her friends over me or if we're watching a movie she'll tell me to be quiet so she can pay attention to it.

She never used to be like this. She used to really act like she liked me and was really fun with me. I told her a month ago that I was going to leave her if she didn't start showing some affection once in a while and that made her better for a little while, but now it's right back to the same. It's like having a rock for a girlfriend.

I feel like I want to break up with her, but I really miss her old self and keep hoping she'll go back to the way she was. She's also become my best friend and I just don't know what to do without her. It's like my best friend and the girl I loved doesn't really exist anymore and I don't know what the hell to do.

Thats rough man, but a couple years is a long time for a young couple such as yourselves. It may be that the two of you have run out of things to say to one another. I believe the only real course of action is to tell her exactly how you feel and see what she thinks.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck. You've always been one of the good ones.

damn that's how mine ended up being...girls are so confusing.One day everything is fine then the next not

I've told her this pretty much and she admits that it's her that's changed. She says she doesn't really know what her problem is.

If it lasts for any longer then a week straight. Due something about it. I went thru over a month and a half of mine doing that to me. Ignored me texts and calls, texted my friends knowing I was hanging with them, ignored me when I would text her the moment she texted my friends, blew off every moment we could have been together, invites me to a party ignores me the whole night....etc.

If it goes for a week and its not just a phase, call if off. You will be less hurt that way.

[quote="Darkwing Ducksaws"]I've told her this pretty much and she admits that it's her that's changed. She says she doesn't really know what her problem is. [/quote[

Exactly what my ex said when this started.

Yeah you just need to tell her everything or it might keep going unoticed. About the contacting thing.. You're not doing it during weird hours, or weird hours for her atleast?

Might want to just try not to talk to her (yeah i know it's hard) untill she contacts you just to see. Or if you have what's the longest you two have gone without talking, days, weeks? Also you are both in 12th grade, i assume yous both have a college picked out that you wish to attend? Different college or same college?

We've known all along that college would be the end and truthfully I'm a little relieved we'll have broken up before we're forced apart.

But at the same time kind of wished it could have been a flawless relationship ended only by circumstance.

Nah man, too many people think it is but it can work. You can still make it work if you want it to and that's probably what's bothering her or atleast one of the things.

I didn't want it to last all through college truthfully. I don't want to only ever have had one real girlfriend, I just didn't know I'd feel this dejected and lonely. You guys are the only ones I feel comfortable talking about this to, which kind of says something, no offense.

She could be thinking the same, you guys graduate in a few months, but you know her better than us so it's hard to say.

Actually Chewy that's what I was thinking she was doing

Maybe some time apart will change both parties' perspective, for better or for worse, either way bringing some closer to the matter at hand.

Whoa, she was your girlfriend and now she's your best friend? Isn't that a demotion?

If you need to take a break from each other, then, sorry to say, but it probably wasn't meant to be. With highschool ending, she may be looking towards broader horizons by distancing herself from you. If you have to beg for communication, feelings aren't mutual.

Do yourself a favor and start clean, man.

I'm just going to skip to the end and reply. I'm not trying to be harsh here I'm just tired. I'm sure you're having feelings and stuff (which you should work on stamping out) but I say:

1. Either ditch her or just let it die. If it's that off and awkward you're better off calling it and moving on right away then trying to drag it out until it's a total ruin, wasted a ton of time and it dies anyway

2. If you're smart you'll break up after high school anyway. So... why not take this opportunity that God gave you to end it now. Quickly. Cleanly.

3. Don't get into another long relationship until you're at least 23. Pick up chicks. Party. Sow oats. Try not to get anyone pregnant.

If you ignore my advice you will regret it.

Remember: It as always better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done.

Metalzoic wrote:I'm just going to skip to the end and reply. I'm not trying to be harsh here I'm just tired. I'm sure you're having feelings and stuff (which you should work on stamping out) but I say:

1. Either ditch her or just let it die. If it's that off and awkward you're better off calling it and moving on right away then trying to drag it out until it's a total ruin, wasted a ton of time and it dies anyway

2. If you're smart you'll break up after high school anyway. So... why not take this opportunity that God gave you to end it now. Quickly. Cleanly.

3. Don't get into another long relationship until you're at least 23. Pick up chicks. Party. Sow oats. Try not to get anyone pregnant.

If you ignore my advice you will regret it.

Remember: It as always better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done.

I'd have to say that in my experience metal is right. Serious relationships are for when you have your life figured out and you can get together with someone who has their shit figured out too and you can both go in the same direction.

I had two serious relationships (year +) while being in Uni and the girls I was with weren't going to school and after awhile they started going all snakey on me trying to get me to quit so we could "just be together" and spend more time with each other "settle down"...caused alot of fights and drama and it's just not worth it.

And about the whole taking a break thing...I've been there and I know it sucks but honestly "lets take a break" is pretty much a relationship killer. Things won't ever be the same afterwards. Save yourself some heartache now and like metal said just check out and move on. You could save yourself a nasty breakup and feelings of resentement/hate/what have you if you just end it now. And what with you guys planning on breaking up when you graduate anyways staying with her is only delaying the inevitable really.

I'm just going to skip to the end and reply. I'm not trying to be harsh here I'm just tired. I'm sure you're having feelings and stuff (which you should work on stamping out) but I say:

1. Either ditch her or just let it die. If it's that off and awkward you're better off calling it and moving on right away then trying to drag it out until it's a total ruin, wasted a ton of time and it dies anyway

2. If you're smart you'll break up after high school anyway. So... why not take this opportunity that God gave you to end it now. Quickly. Cleanly.

3. Don't get into another long relationship until you're at least 23. Pick up chicks. Party. Sow oats. Try not to get anyone pregnant.

If you ignore my advice you will regret it.

Remember: It as always better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done.

I agree with you really, I was planning on ending the relationship with college coming up anyways. It still hurts though, I thought it would end due to circumstance rather than feeling.

I know I'm young, so take what I say and disregard it if you want but I think the most important thing is not to lie to yourself or her. I agree with the others, tell her how you feel and what you're thinking, but don't harbor any illusions. If it ends, it ends. That's ok. It's not your fault, and it's ok to move on. And we'll all always be here if you need a few sympathetic listeners.

I have to agree with Pariah. Just tell her how you're feeling and let what comes, come. If she IS growing apart from you, then it's beyond your control. Nothing to do but talk to her and accept whatever comes.

If you were going to break up soon anyways, I'd say just let it go now. Probably easier to stay friends that way if you wanted to.

Granted, I married the guy I dated since I was fifteen so I'm probably not the best advice in this scenario...but I'd just go with it now if you are breaking up anyways.